She has no shame. She is the most self centered bitch I have ever met. Everything she does is calculated for for benefit. She waits quietly asking question likes she is truly interested in you, then behind your back used that information to make herself look better and be more successful. Ruthless. Now for years I have been in denial about this, and I have to take the responsibility for my stupidity because I was warned by my parents, who I didn't want to listen to (I was a teenager), but no my soon to be husband asks me why I stand by this conniving witch and I don't have a good answer.
She has tried to upstage me with positioning her wedding 4 weeks before mine then asked me to be her maid-of-honor. Now I wanted her to have the wedding of her dreams and so even though I can't afford it, I live in Europe, and I have to many other things to do I said yes. (Mistake on my part). She then wants to share everything about our weddings and starts to steal my ideas. Then she plans her bridal shower one day before mine, and leaves mine early. After I attended her sick wanting to do what was right by her. Then when I get my ticket to her wedding she tries to make me feel guilty for coming Friday because she wanted to have a party Thursday in her honor bachelorette style. I am not made of money or time. The dress for her wedding cost me more than my own wedding dress. I am sacrificing, time money and energy I don't have for her. What more does she want? To get drunk? To take care of her when she has had too much? Sorry to sound whiny but hell no. I wont feel guilty I am giving her enough. Then today I received and invitation for her wedding that looks oddly similar to mine. The one I showed her weeks ago, which is unique and practical. Funny how that happens. Her looks just the same.
I feel so used. Like a real idiot.
When I was depressed I few to visit her, hoping my friend would cheer me up. You know what I ended the weekend with tattoos I didn't want. This other time when I was visiting on business the town where her brother lived. I think she tried to set me up with him, when I was living with my soon to be husband. He had to break it down for me to understand, but she was trying to get me to go home with her brother. Why? He is such a douchebag. He took advantage of a friend of ours, why would she try to get us together, especially when I'm happy with someone. But she did. That is not friendly. That is dirty.
And she never listens. She always wants to go out and party. Get drunk some where. Well guess what? Other then the perfect glass of wine with a meal, or the occasional white Russian with the Dude. I don't drink. It makes me a bad person. Now why? Why would she want me to get drunk all the time, when its bad for me? Why because it is good for her? It makes her look good. It helps her feel good. She can't come up with her own ideas so she has to use mine. She can't get her act together so she follows what I do. Well I am sick of it.
You should also know what her soon to be husband, was someone she said she would never date, he wasn't good enough. One lonely summer they hooked up at a party and they were on again off again, because and these are her words "it is all about the sex." Well, after having long distance sex relationship she has to give him an ultimatum to move out to where she live. Not to move in with her but to move states, moves cities, move everything for her. And for some crazy reason he does. Sweet right. He gives it all up for her, they end up moving in together, but they fight and bitch and all I hear is the bad stuff. She says its all sex and they should break up. But instead they stay together until I get engaged, then she starts talking about getting engaged. She really starts to pressure him. Until 4 months later he caves. Now they are engaged.
Then the really wedding competition starts for her. She waits for me to make my plans, do my think and then follows suite. Our other friend start asking me, how I am tolerating this. I ask what? (So naive). Then I start to put all these pieces together. I even tell her how I am feeling and instead she tries to manipulate me into feeling bad. Well I don't feel bad just mad. And I will do my duty by her but then she is on her own. I will not abide anymore of her crap.
Ah. I had to get that out. No one may ever read this but I feel better that its out there. And if you have been abused like this let me know. Hate a little on the person who has wronged you. I'd love to share in your anger.
Some times its good to abide, but abuse of any kind can not be tolerated.
This aggression will not stand.
No comments:
Post a Comment